I write this entry with a deep fondness for the subject of this topic: a man struggling to understand his perceived reality; a man whose thoughts seem to be in a chaotic state of flux. He constantly reaches out to me in desperation, seeking reassurance. There’s an unmistakable sense of urgency to his desperation as he flounders to navigate through a haze of thick mental fog left behind in the wake of a barrage of black pill ideas. He comes to me every day, without fail, to tell me about all the ideas that he has been absorbing from other men in some quest for purpose. Yet he cannot determine where his place is in all of this and I am perennially incapable of providing him with any useful insights.
One of the central questions underpinning the chaos of his mind is this: what is the point in continuing with the journey of life? He leads an unremarkable life consisting of labour and responsibility for self and has recently begun to scrutinise the daily routine of his existence, so it is no surprise that he should find himself contemplating such a common question. Most of the components of his life have become a burden to him and the question of “what is the point to all of this?” keeps running through his mind like a feral creature in a maze, lost and unable to navigate a clear path.
I would like to talk to him about the biological drive for survival and culturally influenced concepts like ambition and motivation. I can inspire him with romantic tales of immovable resolve, mental fortitude and struggle through strife. I would like to tell him about the potential of achieving outcomes which he may consider as positive, perhaps citing anecdotes of men who are considered to have achieved success through effort. Maybe I should reassure him that a productive continuance to his existence will eventually reap financial and other rewards, paving the way for a comfortable retirement and even happiness in his later years. I can remind him of the importance of finding a purpose, committing to it and seeing it through to the end. My point is that I can imbue his psyche with any number of potentially harmful blue pill ideas, as mankind has done unto itself for untold cycles of birth and death. I can taint his thinking with that ever-present optimism bias that seems to plague most sentient beings and drives existence forward.
Motivation is almost universally thought of as a positive trait. It is only recently that I started to contemplate the option that it is not. Or it may be neither good nor bad. One of the purposes of motivation is to improve one’s chance of survival and quality of life, but what if one were to consider the end result and determine that neither of those are good or desirable? This, in theory, opens the door to nihilism, existential dread and thoughts of suicide, but what if we decide to reject this theory also? Society has painted a black and white picture for us of all sorts of ideas and conditioned us since birth to assimilate and live by those ideas. In the process of unravelling decades of continual conditioning through the family unit and society at large, an individual may develop serious doubts about ideas that were offered to him as truth. He may eventually decide to reject as many of those ideas as he likes, or he can take a neutral stance and acknowledge his inability to verify the validity of claims. He runs the danger of losing himself in all of this, deprived of the comfort that comes from the unquestioning acceptance of external stimuli, like the idea that motivation is a central tenant to a life well lived.
It goes without saying that motivation and drive lead to individuals being more productive, by producing more goods for the economy, putting forth more effort into their labour or accumulating more resources for themselves. These outcomes are firmly rooted in the material world (I say this without making it seem to be a negative or positive idea). The motivated are perceived more favourably than the unmotivated for the greater value they offer to others. But despite these observable and undeniable benefits, I do not subscribe to the notion that a man must, or should, find motivation in his life. He will likely struggle without it, but if the quest for finding and maintaining motivation drains his life force for the sake of achieving a desired future outcome which he may never live to see, he will again find himself asking that one question that haunts his waking moments: “what is the point to all of this?”
Though I have a strong fondness for the subject of this entry and understand his reasoning, I make sure not to provide him with any sympathy or compassion so as not to colour his perception of me. I prescribe no advice or direction for him, for I am wary of instilling him with any of my own ideas which may not work for him or that can even diminish his already-depleted coping reserves. I secretly want to suggest that he give up on reshaping his thoughts around motivation and ambition and instead to dismiss these as blue pill concepts but I see him on the edge of a tall cliff and choose to abstain from this.
