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Pretty much one of the biggest fails in history.

Edit: I feel that I owe Woolie an apology for pretty much installing an impenetrable fortress of cock-blockage around him now that this video has made the front page of Destructoid (http://www.destructoid.com/man....-gives-up-sex-with-t but I won't lol.

Edit 2: Holy shit Kotaku front page.

Edit 3: Aight so after reading the comments here and from the other sites where this has been reposted, I just wanted to clarify a few things: to all of you calling this fake - and trust me, I know how unlikely it sounds (uh... no offense, buddy lol) - having known him for years now, Woolie is a lot of things (chiefly a piss-poor decision maker, but I digress) but a liar isn't one of them. I'm sure anyone who actually knows him will back me up on this, just as much as I know my saying these things probably won't change anyone's mind, but I felt like it was worth noting.

I uploaded this first and foremost so that our friends could have a laugh and give him a bit of a hard time; so now that this thing has exploded the way it has, the guilt has slowly but surely crept up on me and demanded that I stand up for my buddy... Or former buddy. I'm not too sure where we stand on that yet lol.

Now having said all that, isn't the story so much better when you know that this guy actually made this ridiculous choice anyways? lol

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As violence rages in the Middle East, Donald Trump has called Vladimir Putin for the first time in three months to discuss the global situation, according to the Russian presidential aide.

The presidents exchanged opinions over the situation in Iran, with Putin offering his thoughts on the quick resolution of the conflict. The aide also added that Moscow values Washington's efforts in settling the Ukrainian conflict.

To discuss this, we speak with Ajamu Baraka, director of the North-South project for people(s)-centered human rights.

At least 10 people were killed after armed terrorists attacked a Christian village in southeastern Nigeria. Witnesses describe the assault as sudden and completely unexpected, with gunfire erupting while residents were still asleep or preparing for church.

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────────────────────────────────────────
00:02:09:13 — Alleged Tomahawk Missile Strike on Iranian Girls’ School
Footage and analysis circulate suggesting a U.S. Tomahawk cruise missile struck a girls’ school in Iran, reportedly killing more than 150 civilians. The precision of the weapon raises serious questions about whether the strike was accidental or deliberate.
────────────────────────────────────────
00:07:58:13 — Trump Claims Iran Could Have Used a “Tomahawk” Missile
When questioned about the strike, Trump suggests Iran or another country may have used a Tomahawk missile. Critics challenge the explanation, noting the weapon is tightly controlled and possessed by only a few U.S. allies.
────────────────────────────────────────
00:11:35:00 — Civilian Casualties Raise Questions About Targeting Procedures
The school strike is cited as evidence of rushed targeting decisions and pressure to meet military strike quotas. Critics argue such practices dramatically increase the risk of catastrophic civilian casualties.
────────────────────────────────────────
00:21:26:21 — Experts Identify Missile in Footage as a U.S. Tomahawk
Weapons analysts and multiple media outlets reportedly identify the missile captured in footage as a Tomahawk cruise missile. Experts say the weapon does not resemble any system known to exist in Iran’s arsenal.
────────────────────────────────────────
00:22:00:18 — Pentagon Pushes for AI Surveillance and Autonomous Weapons
Defense officials are described as pressuring AI companies to remove safeguards preventing domestic surveillance and autonomous lethal systems. Critics warn this could accelerate the deployment of AI-driven warfare technologies.
────────────────────────────────────────
00:29:27:25 — Growing Fear of Autonomous AI Weapons Making Kill Decisions
Analysts warn that removing human oversight from weapons systems could lead to deadly errors. Concerns rise that autonomous AI could eventually select and attack targets without meaningful human control.
────────────────────────────────────────
00:37:54:01 — Reports Iran Quietly Reached Out to the CIA for Peace Talks
Sources claim Iranian intelligence officials contacted the CIA seeking discussions about ending the conflict shortly after the war began. The outreach reportedly occurred while public rhetoric remained highly confrontational.
────────────────────────────────────────
00:41:23:10 — Netanyahu Reportedly Pressures Trump to Avoid Iran Negotiations
Reports suggest Israeli leadership confronted the White House over possible U.S.–Iran communication channels. Officials say Israel urged the administration not to pursue cease-fire discussions.
────────────────────────────────────────
00:55:44:12 — Strait of Hormuz Disruption Sends Oil Prices Surging
Oil prices spike above $100 per barrel as tanker traffic through the Strait of Hormuz collapses. Analysts warn that prolonged disruption could cripple global energy markets.
────────────────────────────────────────
01:01:18:28 — Lindsey Graham Suggests War Could Deliver Oil Profits
Senator Lindsey Graham is quoted describing the war with Iran as a potential economic opportunity tied to control of global oil reserves. The remarks intensify accusations that strategic resources are driving the conflict.
────────────────────────────────────────
01:15:26:01 — Warning Iran Could Escalate Conflict Into Regional War
Analysts warn that if Iran feels existentially threatened, it may expand the conflict across the Middle East. Retaliation against regional actors could rapidly draw multiple countries into a broader war.
────────────────────────────────────────
01:47:08:25 — BlackRock Restricts Withdrawals as Financial Stress Emerges
A major BlackRock private credit fund limits investor withdrawals after redemption requests surge. The move raises concerns about liquidity problems and possible instability in private credit markets.
────────────────────────────────────────

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