Drug dealer pounds police with bike

Two suspected drug dealers were being rather unsuccessfully arrested in the UK’s second largest city, Birmingham, an arrest that would descend into inexplicable transportation-based violence and a presumably very sticky sidewalk. As one of the dealers was somehow resisting three officers simultaneously, his accomplice searched for a means to fight the law. Before he could say ‘bike to see you’ the dealer had picked up a bicycle off the sidewalk, raised it high above his head like Moses delivering a tweet from God, and rained down a mighty multi blow upon the three-headed arm of the law. The assailant was successfully debiked but even without his weaponized wheels he was a formidable foe for the police. Searching around for a new weapon, he grabbed a basket of fruit.

And that’s when the shopkeeper got mad.

Abdul Guldari’s small fruit and vegetable store was the inadvertent host for this improvised battle with the law, and enraged seeing his shop’s fruit being used for evil, he single-handedly overpowered the assailant with many blows to the head. The attacker, now dazed, confused and thoroughly disarmed of sharpened mango slices was detained by police, as was his accomplice, and hauled away for questioning.

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