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Hi Stefan:

My dad left when I was very young. I have 3 other siblings and we've all seen him visit pretty rarely. At first it was once a year. Now that we're all adults we'll maybe see him once every few years. I'm getting married in two months and I called him up to personally invite him. I didn't want to but I felt I had to. However, he's married to an absolute witch of a woman who's done horrible things to my sister. I informed him that since I wanted my sister to have a good time at our wedding that his wife wasn't invited. I haven't heard from him since. My grandma apologises for his behaviour constantly and is still trying to get him to come. But personally I'd rather she didn't. Fatherlessness has had clear disadvantages that I still deal with today but I wonder if his example would really make me a better person. How do I deal with not having a father? How do I make sure I'm the best possible parent for my future kids without an example to look up to?

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