The 7 main differences between healthy and addictive relationships.

He could have been.... You may be right. I had never thought of it like that. I was too busy thinking, "If I ever get back into a relationship with all the things that make for brilliant sex and absolute crap - I am a fucking gonner. So I had better listen to what this guy says and do the things to make my life work and to not get involved with people who can't or won't own and deal with their own issues." I have observed that most people are plain lazy or get preoccupied with all the other things, and sitting down, being still and addressing ones issues, in groups, with therapists and journaling and self help books etc., are immensely helpful - it's just most people don't want to put in the effort.

Very true about not listening to all these people from damaged and dysfunctional people. Most things, organizations, and seats of authority are held/run by these damaged people. I'm sick of it because they enforce their messed-up/corrupted way of doing things onto EVERYONE else. It's obvious in how corrupt and damaged everything is.

I am just sharing it, because I found it to be extremely useful.... As one who was lost in oblivion, this was my first clear sign post out of the shit and into making decisions based upon GOOD REASONS. In going from "Hi how are you? Lets fuck." and going into pacing them, looking for the signs and symptoms of dysfunctional relationships - within myself and within her, I have to make some HARD decisions, and to look at who were the bench marks or role models for my relationships, and what they taught me. I have found that almost all people have tapes looping around inside their head, with their fathers and mothers voices in their heads and their spend their whole lives listening to these messages.... Some of them are GOOD, some of them are BAD, and some of them are very destructive. This is a pathway into these issues and a concentrated way to deal with them and to work your way into healthier relationships. You know rather than the instant, "Lets Fuck" relationships, by pacing them, and scrutinising them, our interactions and ourselves, we can change. I find it's very important to look for the opportunities to improve and to say "Yes" to the good sane things, and "No" to the bad, insane things. We are free to choose.