Trans Woman Wants My Advice - MGTOW

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Hi Everyone Sandman Here,

This video is brought to you by a donation from Ariana and here's what she has to say: "Hi Sandman, I hate to admit it but a lot of what made me realize I was being unfair to my partner was watching your videos. I'm a 28yo trans girl. I met my bf when I was 24, and just started passing as a woman after undergoing FFS (facial feminization surgery). Until then life was pretty much a living hell. I hated being perceived as a man, not just because I didn't identify as one, but also with my newly gained perspective, I now understand we don't treat men very charitably in our society. As I started to pass and be perceived as a woman, I saw all of the previous expectations associated with being a man replaced with expectation to be pretty and “ladylike”, which I know aren't exactly healthy expectations either, but I was/am happy to fulfill them. As expectations of being "a man" faded away, I found that I started to impose those same, very familiar toxic expectations onto other men as I progressed my life as a woman. Especially when it came to the relationship with my boyfriend (now fiancé). He's 32, a professional, a very low-maintenance, cis str8 guy. He never dated a trans girl before me and he never had any qualms about dating me nor being seen with me. He's beyond loyal and would do anything to keep me happy. As our relationship progressed I caught myself doing something that I’m now very ashamed of. I saw myself policing his gender expression and behavior more and more. The thing that I was a victim of just months before meeting him. Now, he’s a very masculine man, even bro-ey among our social group, but when we were alone and in private, where he felt safe and relaxed I saw him do things that I then perceived as "unmanly". I'd see him cross his legs when he sat down and then interrogate him why he did it. If he cried while he was having a hard time, I'd be
disappointed that he cried and I didn’t. He enjoys cooking and I always insisted that cooking is my job as a woman. I’d tell him to “man up” if he complained about something. I made a scene because he once decided to pee sitting down after he had too much to drink. I wouldn't even be okay with myself being on to during during sex, because being “proactive" participant in sex is a man's job. Or so I thought. He is very chivalrous and sometimes I'd get mad at him if he forgot to open the car door for me. I’d actually cry and tell him that his "unconventional" behavior invalidates me as a woman. That I need him to be a real man for me so that I can feel like a real lady. This is very hard for me to put down in words because now I have an idea of how toxic my behavior was. He never really complained about it, even encouraging my request to modify his behavior as "reasonable". He never really called me out on it and he’s the first to tell our fam & friends that he's happy with me and our relationship. Last September he proposed to me, and I gladly accepted his proposal…but I feel for quite some time now, that I changed him into someone that he isn't.







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