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Ukrainian draft officers defeated by puddle

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Published on 16 Sep 2024 / In News & Politics

Who would win, Ukrainian draft officers or one puddly boi? Ukraine’s military registration and enlistment officers were back at it again in Odessa, emerging from their delightfully decorated bus (those are some lovely curtains) attempting to conscript another Ukrainian citizen simply minding his own business. This citizen, however, was wise to their tricks. He spotted a highly localized rain storage unit (i.e. a puddle) and formulated his plan.

Quick as a flash, he made for the safety of the puddle. The draft officers, no stranger to puddles themselves, anticipated the highly choreographed maneuver and began moving to annex the puddle. Then, against any power of prediction, the citizen jumped over the puddle as if to say ‘haha, you didn’t think I’d do it but just look at me now.’ The draft officers, dumbfounded, ran straight into the assault puddle, falling face first.

The fate of the puddle-wielding citizen is unclear. Meanwhile, Ukraine has asked for several billion dollars in military aid to deal with Russian assault puddles (maybe).

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