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Who are your benchmarks for how to have a relationship

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Life_N_Times_of_Shane_T_Hanson
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Published on 18 Feb 2023 / In Film & Animation

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bigintol03
bigintol03 2 years ago

Damn Shane, that's quite a story that you shared with us, I'm sorry that happened to you as a kid...that's terrible!

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Life_N_Times_of_Shane_T_Hanson

Well yeah it is fucked... but when you get lemons, make lemonaid... AND there is fractional thinking - rarely are people all bad or all good.... Mother Dearest - and Father Darling - there was SOME good things and plenty of fucked things about them... But it's important to now write them all off. And the guy who got me into prostitution at 14..... That was an experience... Mike Lew - wrote a book, and there was a very important line in it... and it sort of went like this... "When bad things to us, we make choices and decisions to survive or adjust to these events. However since we are responsible for making these decions, we can also be responsible for making different or better decisions". In short we are NOT stuck. And if you noticed the issue was to say, "How can you set about having healthy relationships - when you have no bench mark for them?" - this is a productive question and the search for better answers etc....

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Life_N_Times_of_Shane_T_Hanson

I am doing my part to change the consciousness and awarness of humanity.... To improve us all by bits and pieces. Female nature is generally fucked... but I just think our parents - many of them did a shit job and they were not capable of doing much better... so how do we change the script... I mean there is the basic biological drives, and then there is the learned behavious, and there is the socialised programming.... Yet the idea is not to stop having shitty relationships - starting with ourselves, it's to start having healthy relationships - starting with ourselves.... AND if our ROLE MODELS were more or less non existent and or quite bad to relatively shit - how do we change ourselves into people who ARE capable of having healthy relationships - starting with ourselves....

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Life_N_Times_of_Shane_T_Hanson

I didn't remember too at the time, but by the time I was 15, I and my parent / parents had lived in 15 different places in 4 different states (US has 50 states - Aus has 8 states - in a similar sized area) and so there was never any place to put down roots..... to establish long term community relationships - so I can either whine about this, or I can say there are advantages and disadvantages to everything - and I am quite a great deal different to people who have lived in a small town all their lives... I feel like a shark cruising through the depths around a whole sea of people, bobbing around in the water, from a recent sinking..... "Oh gossip gossip gossip - drama, drama, drama" - just watching them - trapped in their bullshit trips - of group think and gossip and garbage.... Not interested..... So one one hand I can either view all my unique experiences as a super power or I can claim victim hood, how it was not fair and how I got the shitty end of the stick.... I'd rather embrace the best of it.

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bigintol03
bigintol03 2 years ago

Happy Birthday brother!

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Life_N_Times_of_Shane_T_Hanson

Thanks for celebrating me being one year closer to being dead.... So kind of you.

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bigintol03
bigintol03 2 years ago

@Life_N_Times_of_Shane_T_Hanson: lol...I just turned 46 last month, so I feel 'ya!

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